The Conversationist

A conversation is like a game of table-tennis. To have a good one you need a good opponent who can give you a good rally. Yes, you need to listen, but you also have to actively participate. It never works otherwise. It's not a passive situation where you can take a backseat and let the other take all the responsibility of driving the tete-a-tete. A conversation is not a seminar, it is not a lecture, it is not pep-talk. There are reasons why those are not synonyms for conversation. A conversation needs nuances, it needs agility, it needs response.

X: Hey, what're you doing?

Y: Nothing much, just watching Perfume, the Story of a Murderer.

X: What's that?

Y: You know that movie where the protagonist makes perfumes from women's bodies after killing them?

X: No...

Y: Erm... The one where he was born with an extraordinary sense of smell...

X: No...

Y: You should watch it.

X: Okay.

Y: Do you want to download it? I can send you a link...

X: Maybe later.

Y: ...


How would you rate this conversation? I'd give it a maximum of 3 on a scale of 10. Do you know how this could have been a good conversation? Like this -
X: Hey, what're you doing?


Y: Nothing much, just watching Perfume, the Story of a Murderer.

X: What's that?

Y: You know that movie where the protagonist makes perfumes from women's bodies after killing them?

X: No... What's the story like?

Y: It's really weird! This guy is born with an extra sensitive nose and he's bent on making the best perfume in the world...

X: So why is it called a story of a murderer?

Y: Because he kills women to steal their body fragrances...

X: Woah! That's psycho!

Y: Do you want to download it? I cam send you a link...

X: Yeah why not? It's bizarre though...
Y: Well, do watch it and tell me how you liked it.

X: Will do...


Now that's more like it, isn't it?

Good conversationists are hard to find these days. I happen to be one of those people who find a good conversation highly erotic.

God(dess)

My boyfriend gave me a book as a goodbye gift when I shifted to Hyderabad. It is called My God is a Woman. Honestly the book itself isn't as smart as its title which was the aspect that interested me the most.

Who is God?
Where is God?

Is it god or God?
Is it a 'he' or a 'she'?

As an India and a Hindu by birth, it's difficult for me to grasp the concept of a single masculine god, because for us there isn't one. We have an absolute array of deities (not gods, mind you) both male and female. But this post will not deal with religion per say, as that would be a separate topic altogether.

What I do want to talk about is the concept of GOD, assuming that it a singular entity.

How do you define God? Gamers use phrases like god-of-the-game. We often say an impressionable personality to be god-like. Hotbods become Greek-gods. But who is he/she? What does he/she look like? How old is he/she?

Where does god exist? Is god a concept or a reality? Would he/she continue to exist without the human consciousness? Where is this being, if he/she exists at all? Where do they live? Is it really possible for a single being to create, control and charter the entire universe?

I've always also wondered whether God is male or female. The primary public instinct is to think of this apparently all-powerful being as a man. At least, the newer religions that are primarily monotheistic propagate this viewpoint. I had gone to a Catholic Missionary school all my life. When I was young, I didn't mind the prayer services and attending the masses. Later I started to feel a conflict within me, because, even if my family isn't very religious at all, I had entirely different notions about God and divinity than what we heard in school.

All this questions and queries should suffice to indicate my agnosticism. And these questions stem from a confused childhood. I didn't know what to believe. My parents did not force me to be religious. I'm a non-follower of rituals, idolatry and scriptures. Yet, I'm not entirely decided about God. I don't know if they are real. I don't know what they are. And I like it this way.

But there is something I do know: My god is a woman.

My god is my strength. My god is my will power. My god is my good judgement. My god is my trust. My god is my honesty. My god is my endurance. My god is my gratitude. My god is my generosity. My god is my sense of justice.
No, I haven't met my god yet. I'm in her pursuit.  

Co-ordination

Clumsy. Klutz. Uncoordinated. That's me.

Sometimes I have trouble coordinating my left and right feet to go the same way. When I was younger, I frequently tripped over my own feet, without any apparent reason. I have a number of scars on my legs (and some also on my arms) to prove that.

At others, I have trouble coordinating my eyes and hands. My eyes are probably seeing that the object is coming towards me from my right, while my arms, with a mind completely of their own, make a grab either diametrically to the left, or on better occasions a little towards the center. No wonder I didn't make it any organized sports teams.

But I can live with that.

What really bothers me is that at times I cannot seem to coordinate my thoughts and my speech. I know what you're thinking. What a retard, right? Well let me explain briefly that it is not so. I have no problems getting my thoughts down on paper. But you ask me a question and I fumble. It's not that I don't know what to say. Usually I know exactly what I want to say. But my tongue too seems to have a separate brain from my thoughts-brain. And they just don't like each other. Often I get this feeling that even while I'm saying something, out loud that is, my brain has already thought twenty steps ahead, and I lose track of what I am currently saying. Which is definitely weird, I admit.

Talking too needs practice, like catching a ball and dancing to steps. I'm afraid I've never had much of that. Most of my conversations have been ones with myself. I know people who do not like IMs and texting. They would rather have a face to face encounter. I, on the other hand, feel comfortable with written words. Probably that's why I'm also a fast reader.

Not talking often enough might have made me an uncoordinated speaker, but that is also the reason I can write, the little whatever I can.

50 Questions: Fifty Shades of Grey

I do not enjoy pain. Obviously, I hated the book. But it did cause me to ask these questions, in no particular order:

1. How many times was the word "flush" used in the book? 
2. Why does Anastasia "blush" and "flush" so much? 
3. How is it possible that at twenty one years of age, she didn't have a single relationship?
4. How did Christian become so wealthy?
5. How can anyone be sexually attracted to another person on the first meeting?
6. Why is Ana always scared?
7. Why is Ana always whimpering?
8. Why is Ana so helpless?
9. Why doesn't Ana not protest even after realizing that Christian is using sex as a weapon to blur her senses?
10. Why is it that she had to be a virgin?
11. What purpose does her alcohol intolerance serve?
12. Why would Ana's reading of many British classics cause her to set high standards for potential boyfriends?
13. If Christian is a super-busy CEO who doesn't have time for interviews, how does he continually visit (and subsequently, bed) Ana?
14. What does Christian do anyway?
15. How can anyone base an entire relationship on having sex?
16. Why does Ana let hormones rule her reason?
17. If one does not feel comfortable, why can she not say it with conviction?
18. Why is Ana forever "scared" in Christian's presence?
19. How did this book become a bestseller?
20. Why are Ana and Christian always f**king?
21. Do Ana and Christian ever talk about anything other than sex?
22. Does Christian only want Ana's body?
23. Even if Ana falls in love with Christian, why can't she get over him?
24. Why is Ana so impractical?
25. Why does Christian view women as objects?
26. Why does Ana believe Christian when he calls her "brave", because she didn't cry when he spanked her?
27. As someone so inexperienced as Ana, how do such passionate sexual thoughts awake in her?
28. Why does she not admit that she likes Christian?
29. What is the Inner Goddess and "subconscious" crisis?
30. Why is Ana so typical?
31. Why is Christian still chasing Ana to make her his sex-slave, even after she refuses him?
32. Why does it not creep Ana out that Christian is into BDSM?
33. Is it always that ease to climax?
34. Why is it mandatory for Ana to have beautiful skin?
35. Why does Ana take orders from a complete stranger?
36. Why is there nothing in the book apart from sex?
37. Is it advisable to step into a relationship if one is unsure?
38. Does Ana like being at the receiving end?
39. Why does she want to let Christian mold her into something she's not?
40. Why is sex so important?
41. What was so bad about Jose as a boyfriend?
42. How can Ana let Christian boss her around with clothes and food and cars and even her own lip?
43. Why should it be so gratifying to know that a man craves your body, and your body only?
44. How can Ana allow Christian to take her, whether she wants it or not?
45. How can anyone like to be taken advantage of?
46. Is E. L. James into BDSM?
47. Being a woman herself, how can E. L. James portray her leading lady in such a succumbing, vulnerable pushover?
48. Why are all the subsidiary characters flat types?
49. Does Ana have any other shade than a mewling whimpering wuss?
50. Where are the rest of the shades of Christian Grey?

I'll end this post by saying that, Fifty Shades of Grey may be a bestseller, but it surely is, and will be the worst book I've ever had the misfortune to read. Peace out.