Listen Up, Girls!

1. Guys hate those who flirt cheaply.
So, that means girls like 'cheap flirting'? Or is this an excuse for weird jealous possessiveness? What IS 'cheap flirting' anyway?

2. Guys do cry.
Breaking news! A guy was spotted CRYING in the streets downtown! I repeat, he was CRYING!

3. It's not just the looks guys fall for, they also like girls who are not so pretty.
Thank you for giving more women body-image issues.

4. If guys care about you, they will overlook your bad traits.
And this is reassuring how? Isn't it better if the person accepts you for your good traits as well as the bad?

5. Guys love it when you smile.
Unless you are the Grinch. Thanks Mr. Obvious.

6. Guys don't like it if you talk about your ex-boyfriends.
And girls LOVE it when guys tell them about all the girls they've slept with.

7. Guys are hesitant to talk to a girl they like.
Because girls are actually Charizards in disguise and will incinerate any guy who comes near. I thought that both girls and guys are shy/awkward in the presence of the person they liked.

8. Guys don't like it when you play hard to get.
So girls, always say yes to anything guys ask you. Seriously, there would be so much lesser rapes/sexual harassment/violence against women if they just said yes to all the stalkers and lechers. Why should it matter whether or not the girl is at all interested.

9.Guys like it when you can stand up for yourself.
Wait, isn't this contradictory to the previous tip? Also, a backbone is an admirable quality in all human beings.

10. Guys want someone to listen to them.
Gee, I didn't EVER think of that.



Why do these tips at all exist? Are they attempts to break the dichotomy between young-adults of the two genders? Aren't they back firing and re-emphasizing the duality itself? Isn't this yet another way of cementing the stereotypes? Isn't it a way of saying that girls will never understand guys (and vice versa) unless they are tabulated and spoon fed into their brains? Isn't it trying to establish heterosexuality as the only acceptable norm?

Most of the points in these so-called tips can be applicable for both men and women. I don't see the reason why these should be split up into "guys want girls to know" and "girls want guys to know" categories. Everyone, irrespective of their genders like a mature, sensible, happy person. Both genders expect the other person to care about them and accept them for who they are. Everyone wants someone to listen to them, without judging. It's weird how gender-stereotypes are reinforced everyday. In the end, we all want the same thing - love.

It's a debatable issue and I too am grappling with possible answers and outcomes. Till we find them, a little sense would really be appreciated.

Shopping

Wedding Sales

Is there special discounts for people who shop for weddings? Something like a end-of-season sale or a stock-clearance sale? With five weddings to my witness (all my cousins mysteriously decided to get married in quick annual succession), I can safely vouch that an immense load of things (necessary and not) are bought. Also, the bride-to-be's favorite part of her wedding is the shopping.

In a Big Fat Bengali wedding, you will end up shopping for some really random but obvious stuff. The respective families buy an absolute array of items for each other. Cosmetics. Clothes. Underwear (!) Toiletries. Wrist watches. Crockery. Travel bags to fit all of that in.

Honestly, the shopping really isn't half as exciting as they claim. Take for example, shopping for clothes for the bride and groom and both the families. One for the mother-in-law. One for the father-in-law. One for the auntie who is the father-in-law's sister. One for the auntie who is the mother-in-law's sister. One for the uncle who is the father-in-law's brother and another who is the mother-in-law's brother. And you're in a real soup if there happen to be multiple brothers and sisters. 

I'm not even going into the picking and choosing. Let's just say, I've spent more than enough fruitless ventures into innumerable malls, shops and kiosks to know better.

Yet I fail to grasp this strange obsession of brides-to-be with shopping. You'd think they have taken the "shop till you drop" motto too seriously. Countless hours of bickering, hankering, sweating, walking and a good few blisters later, the smiles of glee on the shoppers' faces can easily compare with the smile of a fat kid about to jump into a huge slice of mud pie cake. Well, at least there have been other (worse) times I've lost my faith on humanity.

Friends Without Benefits

What I'm about to make can be a very controversial statement. Some may consider it anti-feminism. However, from personal experience, I've found it to be true.

Guys are easier to be friends with compared to girls.

Now, if you ask me for reasons, I'm afraid I won't be able to give you any. Whether or not girls and guys can remain friends and only that is also a valid question. But, all that given and said, I will stick to what I've just stated. 

If you are the no-nonsense, undramatic, slightly weird girl like me, I'm pretty sure you'll agree. I'm not undermining any of the friendships I share with my girls, but I also realize that having male friends, that too good ones, has made me quite a balanced individual.